Tag Archives: Disgrace

Shame and Scarcity

She says there are three hallmarks of a culture of scarcity:

1. Shame: Is fear of ridicule and belittling used to manage people and/or to keep people in line?  Is self-worth tied to achievement, productivity or compliance?  Are blaming and finger-pointing norms?  Are put-downs and name-calling rampant?  What about favouritism?  Is perfectionism an issue?”


2. Comparison: Healthy competition can beneficial, but is there constant overt or covert comparing and ranking?  Has creativity been suffocated?  Are people held to one narrow standard rather than acknowledge for their unique gifts and contributions?  Is there an ideal way of being or one form of talent that is used as a measurement of everyone else’s worth?


3. Disengagement:  Are people afraid to take risks or try new things?  Is it easier to stay quiet than to share stories, experiences, and ideas?  Does it feel as if no one is really paying attention or listening?  Is everyone struggling to be seen and heard?”





Shame is getting laid off and having to tell my pregnant wife


Shame is having someone ask me “When are you due?” when I am not pregnant


Shame is hiding the fact that I am in recovery


Shame is ragin at my kids


Shame is bankruptcy


Shame is my boss calling me an idiot in front of the client


Shame is not making partner


Shame is my husband leaving me for my next door neighbour

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